About a month ago Jews around the world gathered to celebrate the new Jewish year, 5771. The new year, and the month or so of Jewish holidays that follow, always make for a very reflective time for me. The beginning of the Jewish year generally coincides with the new academic year, a fact that I never thought too much about until I came to college. Interestingly, in the years since I began college I’ve become much more attuned to and aware of Jewish holidays and rituals and of Judaism itself. Certainly, Georgetown, with its focus on religion and interfaith initiatives has played a part in my increased sense of awareness, but more influential is the pure reality of being away from home.
While I was in middle school and high school, no matter who my friends were or what my extracurricular activities were, I got my automatic dose of Judaism from Hebrew school and from home and my family. My family has never been particularly observant, but we are traditional, and we have always made a point of spending Friday nights at home, enjoying a quiet Shabbat dinner amongst ourselves or with close friends. It is our time of rest, reflection, and family togetherness. As for Jewish holidays, whether we celebrate them at home or at friends’ or relatives’ houses, we always observe them, using them as “together time.”
It’s no surprise, then, that coming to college was a bit of a shock for me. College kids don’t spend Friday evenings inside quietly. Instead, they go out in search of parties and excitement. This was a fact that was initially—and still is—difficult for me to identify with. Throughout my life I have spent Friday nights at home with my family, resting after a busy week. Most weeks I can’t fathom getting dressed up and going out on the town on Friday nights. During the week I’m plenty busy, so it’s really on Friday nights that I miss my family and being home the most. Throughout my freshman and sophomore years of college I attended Shabbat services and dinner on campus every week, just to spend a quiet evening with familiar faces and practices, but in truth it wasn’t so familiar. In my family we only say a few basic prayers—we don’t go to services. Our real prayers are silent, through our stomachs, when we gather around the table and eat.
A family friend commented that her son, who graduated from college a few years ago, recently mentioned to her that while he was at college he really missed their family’s Shabbat dinners. “Everyone [i.e., relatives, family friends, etc.] thinks that college students just want to be left alone,” he said, “But it’s not true. On Fridays we really just want to relax and at least have a home-cooked meal if we can’t get home!” And it’s really true.
College hasn’t made me more of a believer in God or more of a Bible-reader/follower, but it has made me more aware of being Jewish and of what I truly appreciate about my religion. I have enjoyed college Shabbats, whether at the campus services and dinner or just on my own or with a few friends, but I know that regardless of where I live after graduation I will make a point of arranging Friday night dinners with family and/or friends. It’s a tradition that I miss and hope to reintroduce to my life permanently.
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